Performing a Grief Ceremony

We have multiple life cycles within one life. We grow and outgrow versions of self, patterns and ways of being. Its part of our eternal transformation and becoming. Sometimes its hard to release the spaces we have outgrown. But we can release these versions of self, people, places, ideologies with grace through ritual or ceremony. We host funerals for loved ones we lose, this practice is hosting a funeral for your past. As you release it with love and blessings, you create space in your life to be filled with all the things that are coming for you. Like a well running river, we ideally want to always be moving and transforming the landscapes that surround us in the process.

The Grief Ceremony

Part 1 - The Gathering

Chose momentos of you past that you are releasing. These can be photos, clothing, personal items or even written ideologies or patterns of thinking. Have physical versions of all these representations for the ceremony. You will also want one white candle and one black candle, each in a glass pillar. You can bring flowers and decorate your Grief altar in any other way you want. Bring in crystals like black obsidian or malachite, herbs like yarrow and borage or anything that is calling you specifically.

Part 2 - The Set Up

Set up your altar space anyway that feels beautiful and honoring to you. Create an altar that reflects both who you were and who you are. Grief Ceremonies are always best held on Full Moons or Eclipses because these invite Endings and signify the completion of cycles.

Part 3 - The Ceremony

At the start of your ceremony put each candle on opposite ends of the altar space in a bowl of water. Light the white candle as the first thing you do to clear the energy and space. You can choose to smudge any herbs, spritz ocean water or any other cleansing rituals that feel connected to you. Put all your items on the altar and take the time to hold, thank and express gratitude to each piece and name how this piece of your life helped you and what it gave you. Then name that it is no longer yours. Do this with each item. You can choose to dispose of the items by either (safely) burning or putting it all in a box and burying it somewhere safe. Before you end the ceremony write down who you are now, what qualities you are bringing in and what the future you is becoming. When you are done light the black candle. Let both candles burn without blowing them out. It may take a few days for them to burn fully so keep them in a safe space.

Part 4 - The After

The days and weeks after the ceremony just be mindful and aware of dreams and waking symbols that come to you. Notice how the universe and spirit are communicating to you. Be open to downloads and visions. Keeping a journal during this time could be helpful.

This Ceremony can be repeated as often as you feel you need it. Maybe its a yearly ritual or one you perform when you feel called. It is a way to thank who you were for helping you becoming who you are. Releasing an emotions associated with the past can help us find what fills our cup in the future.